If We're Honest
by NinjaTomatoFairyKing
Summary: Dani has a choice after an overdose places her in the hospital: Marry Kyoya, son of her dead parents' good friend, and give his family her parents' business, or be thrown back onto the streets where she will have to pay for rehab and hospital bills. She chooses the first option, and Kyoya finds himself with a scarred fiancée.
1. Chapter 1

I didn't want to be here. When my parents died when I was 4, I was put straight into foster care. I ran away when I was 10, taking to the streets where I used my violin to get money. I also skateboarded in competitions for extra cash. All in all, I tried to make due on my own and somehow did pretty well. That was until one of my street performers started doing drugs and got me hooked on it. About two months ago that choice led me to the hospital, and with that trip came the lawyers. I was entitled to my parents' entire estate if I could get clean. I would have to fight the banks, but I would get all their money and the business they ran. Mr. Otori came with the lawyers. "Daniele, I knew your parents well. We worked together in business. I have a proposition. If you come to live with my family, we will take care of your rehabilitation. Our business has some of the best doctors. My only request is that your father's business be given to mine. I am sure you would rather not run it, as I know you are not interested in the medical field," he explained.

"How would you be able to get it if I'm the only one who can take it back from the bank?" I asked. Otori smiled, slyly and cunningly.

"I have a son your age, Kyoya. You may not remember him, and I'm sure he doesn't remember you, but you were playmates as young children. You would marry him," Otori replied. My hand was forced. I had no money for lawyers or the rehab. I also was tired of being on the streets.

"Fine," I muttered.

Now it's two months later. I've just moved into the Otori house. Mr. Otori had decided to put me on the couch in Kyoya's room. I think he expects us to bond. It's my first night. I'm sitting in a long sleeve shirt and sweat pants, curled up under the blanket. Kyoya went to bed about a half an hour ago. I can't sleep. Sleeping means the nightmares. It just… I see Mei over and over again, seeing what happened to her. I see all my old friends, mocking me and trying to drag me back down. However, right now my body is too tired. It fights my mind, and the next thing I know I'm asleep. Then when the nightmare becomes too much, I wake up, in the middle of a scream. I glance up in the loft to see that Kyoya, thankfully, is still asleep. I check my watch, and as the 2 am blinks up at me I hear Kyoya move. Great. I woke him up. He'll kill me. However, he just looks down.

"Is everything okay? You were screaming," Kyoya yawns.

"Sorry I woke you. It was just a nightmare," I mumble. Kyoya nods.

"Well, just try and sleep," Kyoya mutters, turning back to sleep. I sigh. Of course, everyone will just shoot off my troubles and tell me just ignore them. What's a nightmare anyways? After a few hours I still can't sleep, so finally I give up. I need to play my violin or else I'll break again. I know myself well enough. So I hesitate and grab the instrument. Just holding it gives me a bit of calm. It's not much, but it's something. So now I'm here, sitting with my most prized possession in my hands. I go ahead and start to play, slowly. I'm a bit out of practice, but I'm getting there. I need to sit there and focus. I need to get back to my core. The sun starts to rise and I notice Kyoya glaring at me. He says nothing and just goes to get dressed. I know he's angry at me. I decide not to care. If he wants to confront me, he can. I'll explain things.

Finally I decide to get dressed as well. It's my first day at Ouran. I grab the dress Mr. Otori got me and slide to the bathroom down the hall. I take my morning medications and start getting dressed. I'm not used to dresses or fancy things. The yellow fabric makes me blush. It's not me, not at all. At least the sleeves cover my needle marks, many of which are still healing. The doctors say that the drug use also caused a few illnesses, nothing contagious but still they're there. My body needs time to heal and reset. I chose to do this though. I fix my hair, which is cut to barely touching my shoulders because parts had gotten matted due to lack of having brushes all the time. It's a price I had to pay, one of many.

Stepping out, I find Kyoya. He just glares at me. "What?" I snap. Kyoya rolls his eyes, fixing his glasses.

"You woke up me twice," Kyoya replies. I raise an eyebrow.

"Call it a nightmare and its therapy, Kyoya-kun," I explain, trying to walk away. He grabs my arm.

"I don't remember much of you, but do you remember what you always called me when we were small?" Kyoya inquires. I bite my lip trying to remember. Suddenly it comes to me, the small boy who used to play house with me when we were three.

"Kyo-Chan," I mutter, pulling away to go grab my bag.

I somehow make it through the day with only some glares at me. People whisper about how I'm technically so high up but at the same time not so high class. I don't mind. I'm getting used to it myself. I got those glares when I was in foster care, kids in the slum neighborhoods glaring at me because I was used to frilly dresses and dolls made of porcelain. Now that the classes are over, I am supposed to go help out with Kyoya's club, the Host Club. It's not really something I want to do, but I can handle it I suppose. Kyoya said I could provide musical entertainment. That's why I had to bring my violin with me. I'm a bit nervous, but then Tamaki walks next to me. "Hey, Dani, how are you holding up?" he asks, smiling brightly. I shrug.

"I'm getting used to things," I mutter. Tamaki laughs.

"You'll do just fine! Come on, let's get going!" Tamaki assures, pulling me along. We enter Music Room 3 where Kyoya stands with a few other people. One, a feisty looking light brown haired girl, catches Kyoya nodding at me with a small smile. She runs at me with a fire in her eyes.

"Who are you?" she demands. Kyoya clears his throat.

"This, everyone, is Danielle Kizumi. Call her Dani. She currently is staying with my family as she is in a legal battle to regain her family's business after an… incident. Anyways, it has been decided she will also be my fiancée," Kyoya explains. The girl in front of me turns red, her jaw and fists clenched tightly.

"YOUR WHAT?" she growls. "SHE'S A STREET GIRL!" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you know what that means? It means I'm a whole lot stronger than you are," I reply bluntly. She staggers back.

"Do you like cake?" a blond hair boy asks, clutching a pink stuffed rabbit.

"I-I never really tried much that I can remember," I mumble. The boy hands me a plate of cake with strawberries.

"Here! Try this!" he instructs. I smile.

"I love strawberries!" I laugh. Kyoya just glares.

"Don't overwhelm her," Kyoya cautions. "She's new and still adjusting."

"Kyo, you don't have to fuss like that. I'm fine," I groan. Everyone stares at me.

"K-Kyo?" the two twins laugh. Kyoya and I both glare at them. I take a bite of the cake. It's soft and sweet. I love it.

"This is great. Um, what's your name?" I tell the boy.

"That's Honey-Senpai and that's Mori-Senpai. Those are the twins, Hikaru and Kaoru, and that's Haruhi," Tamaki explains. Honey smiles.

"It's nice to meet you, Dani," Haruhi waves. I look Haruhi over. Kyoya already warned me about her, and her secret. Tamaki also went on about her a bit when we were forced to work together for a class.

"It's nice to meet you too, Haruhi," I reply, walking over to my violin. It's my closest friend. It's really all I have that matters, that and my skateboard.

"Gee, just avoid me then. I'm Renge," the fiery girl snaps, jumping up and storming at me with her hair flying behind her. I unsheathe my knife just before she reaches me.

"Rule one of the streets: have a knife at all times. Rule two: know how to use it," I growl. She backs off and I put my knife back. It's a dulled out pocket knife. I actually am in need of a new one, if my therapist will let me. I have to run everything by her, but maybe I can get by. I've always been good at under the table type things. It's how I've come this far still breathing.

"Damn… I think I'm going to like you," Hikaru mutters. Kyoya glares at him.

"Dani, please play nice," Kyoya remarks. I pout, but cave. I don't want to poke any fights on the first day here. It'd only be bad for me, and my therapist will only lecture me for it. Thus, I pick up my violin and fiddle a bit, making sure it's well tuned. It's always been in better condition than I am. I just put more effort into protecting it. I've always been that way.

Soon people start coming in. Introductions are kept quite short, and I begin to play, letting the music flow through me. I close my eyes and just let the notes come, compositions of my own making. It's a light and airy feel, and each vibration of the instrument strikes each of my nerves. It's just natural, a part of me. The violin is an extension of my soul. I can't explain it. It just is.

 **A/N: Yay a new story! Okay, so this is probably the only fan fiction I really worked on over my summer, so I have decided this will be my third one on here. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I've enjoyed writing it so far. The idea just popped into my head of Kyoya having to marry an heiress who spent her life on the streets. So, let's have a bit of a disclaimer: Why is this rated M? Dani is a very scarred individual and I plan on delving into that. She grew up on the streets. She did do drugs. She watched a lot of mature stuff happen, some really deep stuff. I basically am rating this M because there are triggers. This may be one of my darkest stories ever in that way. So I hope you enjoy. Please leave a review!**


	2. Chapter 2

I just finished my homework and I'm staring at the ceiling. I'm exhausted, mentally at least. This is the most I've done since I got out of inpatient rehab. Kyoya steps into the room after getting a shower. "You did well today," he remarks. I smile.

"Oh really?" I taunt, turning my head. "It doesn't seem like you to compliment someone." He hangs up his towel, shaking his head.

"I find that when someone deserves credit that they should get it," he replies. I wrap my blanket around me.

"I… I'm sorry about waking you up last night," I mutter. Kyoya sighs.

"Next time you have a nightmare come into bed with me. Perhaps having someone there can help you calm down," Kyoya instructs. I nod slowly.

"You're kind, Kyoya, more than you let on," I swallow. He laughs.

"You are my fiancée, Dani. I should act nice to you," he growls, going up to bed and turning out the lights. I stare at the wall, trying to fall asleep. I slowly drift, falling into a deep sleep thinking about Kyoya's words with a smile on my face.

I make it until about midnight before I wake up sweating and panting on the floor. I look up at the loft, hearing the soft breathing of Kyoya's slumber. I bite my lip, setting the blanket on the couch. I start to tip toe towards the loft, but trip. I swear under my breath and keep going, climbing up to see Kyoya fast asleep. My heart is racing. I take a deep breath and slowly crawl under the covers with him. At first it's awkward, and I face the wall, but as soon as I turn over to get comfortable, Kyoya wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me towards him. I feel myself blushing, and stay awake for a bit longer, feeling my breathing slow down to match his. It's natural, almost as natural as the music. I fall asleep soon, my head resting against him.

It's lunch time and I'm carrying my lunch to where the host club minus Renge sits. Kyoya is walking the other way towards the table as well, but as I walk forward I trip over my own foot and end up crashing with my food straight into Kyoya. Blushing I look up at his angry face. My lunch is all over his shirt and blazer. I have no words, I just look up at him with an open mouth. The others all stare at me, as speechless as I am. Kyoya grabs my wrist and drags me along with him.

"What the HELL was that?" he growls as we reach the bathroom. He strips off his clothes, tossing them aside. I'm near tears.

"I'm sorry! I tripped!" I cry. He just growls. I look up in shock. He's well built to say the least.

"In my bag is a change of clothes. Go get them," he barks. I go on and follow his orders, still blushing.

"Kyoya, I'm so sorry," I mutter as I hand him his clothes. He glares at me.

"I would expect more of a champion skateboarder," Kyoya growls. I frown.

"I've always been clumsy though. I thought you would remember. I always used to break things as a kid," I sigh. He nods slowly, forcing me back against the wall.

"I'll remember things whenever you call me what you used to," he breathes, inches from my face. I almost think he's going to kiss me, but instead he releases me and goes to get dressed.

It's finally the weekend, and Kyoya has taken me to the beach house his family owns in Okinawa. It was Mr. Ootori's idea, thinking that if we spent more time alone we wouldn't argue. We spent the rest of the week yelling at each other about how early I'd wake up, or how I tended to trip and accidentally break things. Kyoya has just called me into his room. I hesitantly open the door, thinking he wants to yell at me again. But instead he sits there on his bed.

"You are a train wreck on legs," Kyoya growls.

"I've apologized already, Kyo," I sigh. "Can we not fight this time? Please?" He smirks.

"It's time I teach you a lesson," Kyoya coos, standing up and pinning me against the door. I shutter beneath the weight of his hands on my arms.

"I've watched a girl get raped before, Kyoya," I caution, letting him know my fear. He pushes my hair back slowly.

"Dani, you don't have to be afraid of me," he softly assures. I swallow hard as he lightly presses his lips against mine. For a moment we stay there, eyes open staring at each other. I'm barely aware of my fingers curling, grasping at his shirt as I pull him back to me. Mei always said it felt good as long as you wanted it to. I remember the feeling, from that first time. I've done it twice, but after Mei was raped, right in the room next to me, I couldn't think about it anymore. Kyoya rubs the tip of his tongue against my bottom lip and my heart flutters. I open my mouth, allowing him to slide his tongue in. He wrestles with my tongue, tugging my tank top down as we both start panting. Soon he drags me off the wall and pushes me down on the bed, tearing my tank top down leaving me naked from the waist up. I blush slightly as he looks me over.

After we finish, I curl up next to him and we spend the rest of the night in silence. Tonight, however, is the first night I don't have a nightmare.

 **A/N: Yes, I cut out a part of this. Trust me, it isn't needed. I kept in what is important to advancing the plot. Anyways, I hope you like this next chapter. I have a feeling this one may be the new favorite on here. Thankfully I can just write today though. Who doesn't love that? We are starting to see some darker elements here. We will be revisiting some of those. By the way I'm sorry if this is short. I originally wrote the fan fiction without any chapters so now I have to go back and figure out where the natural breaks are. I think the next chapter is pretty long though and depending on how many views this gets today I may post the next one up later on this afternoon/evening. So please leave a review!**


	3. Chapter 3

By the time school starts for the week, Kyoya and I have eased in a bit. Instead of waiting until I have a nightmare to crawl into his bed, I end up there in the first place. It's a bunch of quiet changes like that, including a great decrease of arguments. We still glare at each other from time to time, but it isn't as bad, at least not like it was. I follow Tamaki and Kyoya into Music Room 3 for their club meeting. I technically have to be back home by a certain time for my therapy appointment, but Kyoya told me it's just for the club to discuss some things about the upcoming break in a few weeks.

As soon as I step into the room, Honey runs forward and gives me a hug. I can't help but smile. These guys are becoming my friends. Well, Renge isn't. She sits and mopes in a corner most of the time. "How was your weekend?" Haruhi asks. I just shrug, looking over at Kyoya who has buried his gaze into his black notebook. I've already changed into something a bit more comfortable: a flannel shirt and ripped jeans. I take a seat on a nearby couch, keeping quiet as I usually do. Renge looks up at me.

"I would say our forced little trip went well, wouldn't you?" Kyoya remarks. I bite my lip and nod.

"I would say your father was smart. It had some nice benefits," I reply. Everyone looks at us.

"Wait you guys were," Hikaru begins.

"Stuck together for a weekend," Kaoru continues.

"And didn't kill each other?" they both ask in unison. Kyoya and I both nod, sharing a glance. Renge jumps up.

"I can't take it anymore! Kyoya, I thought you loved me!" Renge cries. Kyoya rolls his eyes, shutting his book. He walks over to me and pulls me up sharply, kissing me in front of Renge. It's passionate but gentle, and I find myself holding his hands. He finally pulls back, the room utterly silent.

"That's who I love," Kyoya mutters, pushing back a bit of my hair as I blush. Renge has turned blood red, tears in her eyes. Tamaki's mouth has dropped. Honey and Mori are the only two who seemed to have seen that coming. Renge storms out suddenly.

"You just… Kyoya what was that?" Tamaki stammers. I just stare at Kyoya. I myself am wondering why he did that.

"I was showing her that she never had a chance," Kyoya calmly explains. I quickly hug him. He freezes for a moment and then wraps his arms around me.

"I knew you two would love each other," Honey laughs. Kyoya and I both pull back and look at him, bewildered.

"What do you mean?" Haruhi asks.

"Well look at them, they're meant to be together!" Honey remarks. I raise an eyebrow at Kyoya.

"What do you think?" I inquire of him. Kyoya sighs, resting his hand on my back.

"Perhaps Honey-Senpai is right," Kyoya muses. He looks at me, pushing back a strand of hair.

"Who would have thought that the Shadow King would fall in love?" Hikaru laughs. I can't help but smile. He does have a point.

"I don't believe any of us could have seen this," I remark, realizing that had I not been stupid in the first place I wouldn't be here.

Later in the evening, I'm sitting in our room on the couch. I haven't told my therapist about much of my and Kyoya. She doesn't need to know. I'm still trying to sort through this myself. Do I love him in return? I can't understand this. I don't even know, but I'm afraid. I'm so afraid. I'm afraid of getting hurt, and I know it. I run my finger down my arm, feeling the scars left from multiple needles poking my skin. I wasn't on heroin. I was on some new type of thing, and now I regret it. It now brings all those nightmares to the surface. That's the long term affect: anxiety on high levels.

"Hello, Dani," Kyoya greets as he steps into the room. I take my pills and look up at him.

"What was earlier about?" I ask. He smirks.

"Isn't it obvious? I love you. After this weekend, I can't deny it. You are on my mind somehow all the time," Kyoya explains. I cross my arms.

"Kyo… I don't know what any of this is," I confess. Kyoya looks down.

"Is it that hard? You are everything I hate, but you are everything I love and I would give anything just to see you smile. I am not the person to be like that, but somehow you have changed all of that. I can't live without you," Kyoya argues. I stand up, facing him. I roll up my sleeves.

"You're getting a pretty broken person, Kyoya Ootori. Do you understand what you're doing?" I ask. He rests a hand on my shoulder.

"Yes, I know what I'm taking on. I'm meant to protect you. I have to take care of you. When you told my father yes that is what I had to sign up for," Kyoya explains. I pull up my shirt to show my waist, resting Kyoya's hand on my scars.

"When things got bad, after Mei got raped, I fell so hard. These are my scars, and you have to take care of them," I tell him. He kisses my forehead, slipping his hand around my back.

"I better stay strong then, for both of us," he whispers in my ear. He hugs me softly before walking towards his bed. "I'm going to bed, Dani," he announces. I nod my head, sitting back down as I pick up the only picture of me and my friends that exists, aside of course from the copy Mei has. Out of the five of us there, two of us have gone through rehab, two have died, and I don't know what has happened to Mei. I look back at Kyoya stepping into bed. Maybe a risk is what I need. Maybe this might work. I hope so. I walk up, turning off the lights. As I go to crawl into bed, I lean in, resting my lips just above Kyoya's ear.

"I love you, Kyo-Chan," I whisper softly before retiring.

 **A/N: Wow... This one is really jumping in views so here I am posting two chapters in one day. I've actually been working on this fan fiction a good portion of the day, and looking ahead I believe I may have issues. I already mentioned this will have triggers, but wow. Dani is going to be going through quite a lot, if what all happened to her friends means anything. I think this is really the darkest thing I've ever written, and for an original work I'm doing I had to write a rape scene (I do not condone rape by the way. I use it as a way to show how people can go through a lot and still find hope. If that makes sense. That scene I mentioned I wrote was the second hardest scene I've ever had to write). Anyways, if you are sensitive to issues like drugs, alcohol, smoking, self harm, depression, etc. I say you need to stop reading now. I know I've mentioned some of this a bit already, but seriously. If you don't like that stuff, turn and run away. Go read Remember to Breathe or maybe Memories. Don't read this fan fiction. As always, I hope you enjoy and please leave a review!**


	4. Chapter 4

I'm sitting in the middle of class, listening to a lecture. I've been a bit restless, but suddenly I feel like my heart is pounding. I feel my body trying to shake, my breathing quicken. I need to get out of here, my hands clammy. I feel like every nerve is over strung and trying to shut down. My head is pounding, and I feel dizzy. I scarcely hear myself asking for permission to use the rest room, but I must have heard the answer as I stand up. I barely make it to the door when I pass out.

I feel someone shaking me after what seems like moments. "Dani, Dani are you okay?" Kyoya asks as I come to. I slowly get up. The entire class is staring at me, Tamaki and the teacher kneeling with Kyoya.

"I think I'm fine," I swallow. I feel shaken up, my stomach still clenching. I feel like I'm going to be sick. I've been feeling it since yesterday, but it's worse now.

"You should go home after seeing the nurse," Kyoya sighs, picking up on both things. I nod slowly, letting him pick me up. He and the teacher take me to the nurse. When there, I explain what happened in class. She looks down at my file and up at me.

"Dani, I think you had a panic attack," the nurse explains. My heart drops. The therapist warned me that this could happen. It means my anxiety is worse than we thought.

"Okay," I reply softly. Kyoya rests his head on mine, hands on my shoulders. Outside I seem fine, but inside I want to break down and cry.

It's been two weeks since the incident. We had to fix my medication accordingly. Now it's break, a much needed one. I still have been feeling sick, but I've managed to get Kyoya thinking I'm okay. Normally I wouldn't be so worried over it, I've always gotten viruses, but my period came way late and when it did come it was spotty and only lasted a few days. The host club has gone to Okinawa for team building type stuff. It's just us, no clients. It's a welcome break. It's also our first day.

I have taken to one of the bathrooms, holding a test in my hands. I'm waiting on the answer, but the slight nausea in my stomach tells me it'll be positive. I feel so scared. What will Kyoya say? What will he do? I just don't know, and that scares me more than anything else. I can handle a child on my own, but I know what it will mean to me now. It means my reputation goes on the line, and what happened the last time I was here comes to light to everyone. It means Kyoya's reputation goes on the line, and he has to explain things to his father. It gives the other lawyers a reason to win. I look down at the two lines.

Honey happens to be the one to knock on the door. The small man opens the door slowly, clutching his beloved Usa-chan. "Dani-chan…Are you okay?" Honey asks. I just shrug, wiping away my tears. I push the test towards him. Honey looks down and then up at me.

"I'm not sure if I'm okay," I mutter. Honey smiles and wraps his arms around me.

"It's okay, Dani-chan! I-It's Kyo-chan's, right?" Honey asks. I nod. Honey sets Usa-chan down in my lap. "Do you want me to get him?"

"No. I might wait a bit. I-I need some time to think through it all," I reply with a heavy sigh. It's all starting to sink in. The one night he takes away the pain, the nightmares, the fear, is the one night that has changed the rest of my, no our, lives.

"Takashi and I will be here for you!" Honey assures. I smile and hug Usa-chan tight in my arms.

It's been two days. The twins just figured it out when they saw me puking right before breakfast. So now Haruhi, Tamaki, and Kyoya are the only ones that don't know. I know I have to be three and a half months in. I sit on the deck looking out at the waves. I've come to terms with things. I sort of avoided Kyoya as much as I could though. I also think the twins told Tamaki because of the way he looks at me. Honey, Mori, and Haruhi just got back from the beach. I get up and step inside. Everyone is playing a game of cards except for Kyoya, who just sits glaring at me. "You've been avoiding me, Dani," Kyoya sighs. I bite my lip.

"Kyo-chan, can we please discuss this in private?" I ask innocently, resting my hand on his shirt. He pulls back.

"Dani, what's going on with you?" Kyoya demands. I fold my arms. Honey looks at us with a worried and knowing look.

"Kyoya-kun, please don't…I've been…distracted," I beg. Kyoya raises an eyebrow. I feel a slight churning in my stomach. No, not now…

"Distracted? You've been avoiding me like the plague! I'm supposed to take care of you. You're pushing me away, and after all the anxiety and drug issues, I worry," Kyoya rants, his voice getting louder. Well, there goes my secret. I close my eyes.

"Please…Kyoya, not here," I plead, the churning getting worse.

"A-Are you okay? Y-You look pale. It's not another attack, is it?" Kyoya inquires. I go to open my mouth but end up running into the bathroom. I hear Honey tell Haruhi to sit back down gently as Kyoya runs after me. I'm leaning over the toilet heaving as Kyoya holds my hair back, forehead resting between my shoulder blades.

"Don't…Make me say it, Kyoya," I pant, wiping off my mouth. Kyoya helps me up and flushes the toilet while I rinse out my mouth.

"You aren't," Kyoya breathes. I reach into my pocket, looking up at him in the mirror.

"Please, Kyoya, I can't say it," I cry. The tears I've been holding in just roll.

"Who did this to you?" Kyoya asks, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"You!" I exclaim, turning to face him. "Just say it, damn it! I can't do it myself." Kyoya looks like he's in shock, which he most likely is.

"Y-You're pregnant," he swallows. "It's mine." I nod slowly, slipping the test into his hand as I rest my head against his chest. He breathes a heavy sigh, rubbing my back.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I-I needed to come to terms with it myself," I cry, my voice muffled by his shirt.

"The others know," Kyoya growls.

"Honey found me crying after I took the test, and the twins found me puking before breakfast this morning," I explain. Kyoya pulls my head up and wipes away my terms.

"Dani, we are going to get through this. My father may be able to use this as an excuse in court our immediate marriage," Kyoya assures, rubbing his thumb against my stomach absentmindedly. I end up crying even more, letting my walls fall. Kyoya pulls me into his embrace. "Shh, Dani, it's okay," Kyoya whispers in my ear.

"Kyo-chan, how did I get here?" I mutter.

"You have not had it easy," Kyoya sighs. "I'm here though. I am going to take care of you and our child."

"Why does it feel so nice to hear you say our child?" I grasp at his shirt. Kyoya smiles, letting his hands rest on my hips.

"Perhaps because we want this," Kyoya muses, pushing back my hair. I sigh deeply. I don't even know anymore. I'm still trying to figure things out.

"Should we go back to the others? I'm sure they're wondering what we're doing now," I sigh. He smiles.

"Let's just go and entertain them for a while and later we can…celebrate," Kyoya suggest. I can't help but laugh and nod my head.

 **A/N: So once upon a time I was having a really rough day with my stomach bothering me (again) and a really bad headache. Then I got home and saw that this fan fiction and Remember to Breathe suddenly had a great jump in views. This is part of the reason why I write. I love seeing this happen. Which is why I now hate having to say that this fan fiction will only be 10 chapters. However there will be a sequel. Still, there's only six chapters left of this one and I bet by the time this ends you will all be screaming at me. Side note, I wrote the whole "I'm pregnant" scene before I even started the rest of this fan fiction. I had been playing with the idea of Dani and had been reading one too many one shots when I wrote this scene. Still, we need some happiness. The next six chapters are pretty much a downward spiral of chaos. I have actually written the last six chapters and started on the sequel so I know what I'm doing here. I'll be honest, this is the deepest, darkest, and most mind shattering thing I have ever written. More on that later though! Please leave a review! I love you all!**


	5. Chapter 5

We get back from Okinawa later in the evening a few days later. I'm exhausted, but Kyoya wants to talk to his parents. I can only guess as to why. I don't mind if I'm not there when he tells them. I'd rather be away from that. I'm sure Mr. Ootori will probably want both of our heads. Still, we're over 18 and we are due to be married eventually. I just hope the case will be over before I start to show. We might be able to fools the lawyers. Still, we could use it as an excuse as to why I need the money… No, I won't try and pull that. I'll let Mr. Ootori and Kyoya handle things in court. They and our lawyers know better than I do. I know how to live on the streets. They know how to survive in court.

I take another look at the test, and then at myself in the mirror. I've certainly gained at least a bit in weight. Well, there is a child in there. I guess I just have to get used to it. Kyoya steps back in, walking behind me. He reaches his hand and places it on my stomach. "We are going to be just fine," he whispers in my ear. I lean back into him, knowing I need to trust him more than anything.

"What did your father say?" I ask.

"He said he will take care of it. He has decided to push our wedding date to right after the birth and give you the best doctors we have. I let him know that I will be taking full responsibility for all of this," Kyoya explains softly. I nod slowly, taking in his words.

"We made this choice together. I could have asked you to pull out," I correct. Kyoya just smiles, kissing my head as he pushes back my hair.

"I'm glad you didn't," he laughs. We both end up laughing.

"We're going to be parents," I mutter, taking a deep sigh. It's all crazy. I suppose now I'll have to come clean to my therapist. I have no choice. My medications may have to be adjusted again. Considering how I feel right now, I'm betting they will be.

By the evening, I'm not as happy as I was before. I talked with my therapist, who basically called me a slut for using sex as a means to get over my pain. Kyoya's working on his school work, and I'm sitting on the shower floor while steaming water hits me. I have my pocket knife in my hand, and I've been crying ever since I turned on the water. I stare at the blade, and take a deep breath. I don't want this. I don't want any of this. I feel like I'm just rushing into life, and in this moment I lose all control. I press the blade against my skin and drag it, gasping in pain as I do. It's a rush, and I watch as the dark red blood pools on my wet skin, dancing with the water.

That's when the panic sets in. What have I done? What the hell am I doing? I'm shaking now, and the next thing I know there are two more cuts that I don't even remember making. I don't even know how long I've been in here, but I scarcely hear the door open. "Dani, where are you?" Kyoya asks, but I feel like it's not real. The only thing that's real is the clatter of the knife on the tile, and the red that drifts off of me. I don't even feel like I'm crying, even though I must be because Kyoya thrusts back the shower curtain and turns off the water.

"Damn it," he mutters, kicking aside the knife and grabbing my arm. He turns around and grabs a towel to cover my body. I really start crying now, and he holds me against him. "It's okay, Dani. It's okay."

"I-I can't do this," I cry, even though I don't feel like it's actually me. Kyoya stands and walks over to the medicine cabinet where he takes out some gauze, and he grabs some wash cloths from below the sink. He also grabs a first aid kit, and sits back down next to me. Silently he tends to my cuts, not meeting my eyes. Once he's finished, he picks me up and lays me on our bed. He grabs one of his shirts and puts it on me before laying a blanket on me and sitting on the floor shaking his head.

"Dani, you can't do this to me. I know it's hard, but you have to hold on. I swear I will do everything I can to make sure you will be okay, but you have to try. I'm scared too. I don't know what to do. I still have school and all of a sudden I have you, and this baby. My father also wants me to run your family's company when we win this case. Just… Don't do this to yourself," Kyoya pleads. Now more than ever it all seems so unreal. Kyoya doesn't show emotion, and here he is near tears. I barely feel him crawl into bed with me, holding me to close to him. I close my eyes, and start to fall asleep, the taste of his salty tears on my tongue.

 **A/N: So...I wasn't going to post another chapter for this today...But then my day got so freaking better I just. I had to. I've had a really long day and I felt so sick and just miserable. Then the new Black Butler chapter came out. Then I got a new giant mug. Then I saw all the views and stuff on here which just made me feel so special. It got better though. I was sitting in my bath tub trying to relax because I still feel kind of sick, and I was going through Pinterest/Tumblr and found out A9 has actually decided to sell their new EP on iTunes here in America. To say today has rocked is an understatement. I legit almost started crying. Now I have to explain this chapter...Do I have to mention the sad stuff? Fine. Self harm. I've done it. I've had my struggles with depression. For two years I've struggled, and I will admit, A9 is the reason I can now truthfully smile each day because just looking at them makes me laugh at how funny they are. Still, I know I'm a lucky case. Some people really do struggle with this. My advice is to find that one thing that makes you hold on. At first it was writing, and then it A9 followed by visual kei in general. Find that special thing. As always, please leave a review. Surprisingly it will actually make my day even better.**


	6. Chapter 6

Kyoya didn't say a word about the cutting to his parents, or anyone else for that matter. It's been a few days, and the new medication is helping a little bit. Still, Kyoya seems distant. No one talks about the baby, and perhaps it's all for the better. I'm sitting playing my violin in the music room waiting for the club members to get here. The Host Club are the only friends I seem to have. However, when the door opens, it isn't any member that steps in. It's Rige. I try and ignore her, closing my eyes. I barely hear her walk towards me, but I do feel the knife press into my abdomen. I open my eyes, dropping my violin. "Rule one," Renge growls, pressing the knife deeper. I scream, blood gushing.

The door opens again, and Tamaki and Kyoya rush in just as I start to pass out. Tamaki and Honey drag Renge away as Kyoya grabs me. "The baby," I somehow manage to mutter before passing out from loss of blood.

For the second time this year I wake up in a hospital. My abdomen is killing me, and I groan. Kyoya sits next to the bed, his head next to my hand which he holds with his own. He's fast asleep. I look around to see a wide variety of flowers. I slowly pull my blanket further up on me, and the movement wakes up Kyoya. "Dani," he mutters, sitting up slowly.

"Kyo…What happened?" I ask. He grabs my hands.

"Renge stabbed you," Kyoya replies dryly. I force myself up, wincing at the sudden onset of pain. "Hey, be careful. It didn't knick any organs, but the trauma…" His voice trails off and he looks away. It hits me then, what happened.

"The baby," I sigh. Kyoya wraps his arms around me. He stays silent. The door opens and Mr. Ootori walks in. He stares at my bandaged arm and I quickly look away.

"Father, please don't. She just woke up," Kyoya cautions.

"I am glad to see you are okay," Ootori begins. "They are sending Renge back home, and her father will be taking care of her. He would rather lose our partnership than to see his daughter in court."

"She was jealous. She wasn't acting rationally," I mutter.

"You should be able to be released tomorrow. I am sure you would rather be resting at home. You've seen enough of hospitals," Mr. Ootori explains. I nod.

"Yeah, that sounds good," I mutter. Mr. Ootori takes his leave as the Host Club enters.

"Dani-Chan!" Honey exclaims, running forward to hug me. I wince, but hug him back. The twins are holding something in a blanket.

"Hey, how are you?" the twins ask. I shrug.

"You shouldn't have brought it," Kyoya growls. I look at him and back at the twins.

"Brought what?" I ask.

"You, uh, dropped your violin. It's, well, broken," Hikaru explains. I sink back down. This just keeps getting worse. I want to cry, but I can't. I just instinctively lean into Kyoya. Haruhi sits down on the edge of the bed.

"How are you holding up?" she asks.

"I'm okay, I guess. I mean, I hurt. I just, I don't know," I stumble.

"Do you want some cake?" Honey asks. I smile.

"Not right now, Honey-senpai. I'm not that hungry," I reply quietly. The twins rest the broken violin on a chair near me. I look at it, my heart aching for my violin. Now more than ever I want to play it. Yet now I can't. I've lost everything.

It's been two days. I'm curled up half asleep on the bed, Kyoya working on school work on the floor. He's been helping me stay caught up even though I haven't been going to school. I haven't actually been doing much of anything. I'm in a sweater of Kyoya's. It hides my bandages, makes me feel not so broken. "I'm looking in to getting you a new violin, a better one," Kyoya suddenly remarks. I look over at him.

"You don't have to. It's fine," I mutter. He shakes his head.

"I owe it to you. I knew Renge was crazy. I should have been more careful. Besides, I know playing the violin helps you. I want to help you, Dani," Kyoya argues. I feel the bandage on my arm beneath the fabric of the sweater.

"What am I doing, Kyoya?" I cry. Kyoya pauses from his work, looking up at me. He pulls himself up beside me.

"Don't even think about it," he growls. He pulls me into his arms. "I am going to protect you. You are not falling apart on me."

"I'm not even sad, about losing it. I just feel numb. H-How could I have raised it? I'm a street girl. I can't do this, not raise a child, not be this high class girl. I can't, Kyo-chan, I can't do it. I deserve to go on the street. I deserve to die," I mumble. He squeezes me tighter.

"I'm going to show you how wrong you are," he growls. He rubs my back, sighing. I push him away, standing.

"No, you're wrong, Renge's right. I'll never be good enough for you," I spit, running out after grabbing a pair of my jeans. I don't even know where I'm going. I sneak past the maids and keep on running, even though it hurts. I run into town, into the slums. I run back to the warehouse where I lived, almost like it's autopilot. No one is here, just faint traces of what was. The shadows tell me what I remember: the nights where we would all sit around a fire singing, the night Mei told me she was in love, and the nights where it changed. In a room behind where I sit on the floor Mei was raped. I was sitting against that wall, reading some book, I don't even remember what. In this room I overdosed, and this is the first I've been back.

I lay back on the ground, closing my eyes for the moment. The screams haunt me. Mei was the strong one. I don't even know where the hell she is now, but I'd be glad to see her again. She always knew what to say, until she disappeared. That night changed her. I don't even know anymore. I feel the cold coming on, the chill of the evening. How long have I even been here? It's like time is frozen in this room, but outside the world still spins on. Suddenly I turn over onto my good side and spot my bag I left here. I force myself over and take out a bag of cigarettes. I was never a heavy smoker, but now more than ever I need it. There's also a can of beer at the bottom of the bag, and my needles. I take it all with me, lighting a cigarette and looking at the wall. Has anyone even been back here?

I open the can of beer. I always kept them knowing that when Mei was falling apart it helped her. Maybe I loved her, just a little bit, but some part of me says I love Kyoya more. Do I even love him? I gave him all of me for two nights. What does that change? He isn't the first, and hell knows if he'll be the last. I chug some beer, coughing. God, I hate alcohol. Still, it'll push everything away, if only for a moment. I know what will help even more though. I start to shake as I grab a needle, tossing the cigarette aside. I take another sip of beer in hopes of steadying myself some. I take a deep breath as I press the needle against my arm, the good one. The drugs reach my blood stream and I already feel the rush. I laugh. I don't even know why, but I laugh.

I search around, find a bottle of hard liquor, something I actually like more. I start drinking it, trying to get myself to a point where nothing even matters. I wander into the room with a bed, collapsing onto it. There's a CD player in here and I blast it. My brain is spinning, but I feel so alive. The past few days I've been numb, but here I am. I don't know if it's the drugs and I'm just hallucinating or what but Kyoya steps into the room. I stand, throwing off the sweater, pulling him to the bed. I need to be touched, felt. I kiss his neck over and over, hearing him gasp beneath me. At first he fights it, but at the same moment I feel his arousal I feel his hands pulling down my jeans. I unbutton his shirt, and the night fades into beautiful nothingness.

 **A/N: You guys all seem to be loving this so much that I almost don't want to keep posting because this is where things start falling. Dani obviously broke with that violin, and I don't even know what the hell was going on in my head when I wrote this...I feel like I'm insane. Still, in just 3 days the views of this fan fiction have sky rocketed so damn high I don't even know what to think! When I first started fan fictions on here it would take at least a month to reach a hundred views but 3 days?! YOU GUYS ARE SO FLIPPING AWESOME! Anyways, I am going to do a in advance warning here: the next chapter contains something that while is not out of character is very dark. I am not going into detail here for my own reasons, but please understand, this chapter and those that follow are a downward spiral for Dani. I may be spoiling, but I am only doing so in hopes that you dear readers will be able to prepare yourselves. It isn't pretty. I have my ideas of why this fan fiction has taken that turn, and after this fan fiction is complete (chapter 10 will be the last chapter as I have said before) I will start doing an in depth reflection of this fan fiction that will be posted on my Wattpad. I will give more details in the author's note at the end of chapter 10. As always, please leave a review and thank you all so much for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

I wake up with a headache on the uncomfortable bed. Kyoya is next to me, staring at the ceiling. "What the hell was that?" he mumbles.

"I don't even know," I mutter.

"Did we actually do it last night?" Kyoya asks, looking over at me. The room has gone quiet. I nod slowly.

"Yeah, yeah I think we did. I was drunk," I manage to recall.

"I came to find you. I thought you'd come back here," Kyoya tells me. I look around, and it hits me.

"C-Can we get out of this room?" I ask. Kyoya sits up and hands me my clothes. I dress quickly and run out to the main room, kneeling on the ground as I throw up, remembering what happened in that room.

"Are you okay?" Kyoya inquires. I shake my head.

"My best friend was raped in there," I mutter. He rests a hand on my shoulder, looking at my bag.

"What are you going to do with it?" he asks.

"Burn it. Burn the damn drugs, the beer, and the cigarettes. I can't keep doing this," I growl. I pick up my bag, wiping my mouth on my sleeve, and throw the bag at the wall. "I need help, Kyoya. I can't do this alone."

"You never were alone, Dani. We're all here for you," Kyoya sighs as he finally puts on his shirt. I turn to face him.

"I wasn't just drunk last night, Kyoya. I took the drugs. I relapsed," I tell him with a heavy sigh. I'm rubbing my arm out of nervous habit.

"I thought so. I found the needle when I came here," Kyoya replies. I nod quickly.

"The doctor said we shouldn't. He said I would need time to heal," I remind him.

"You were the one who practically tried to rape me as I recall," Kyoya points out. We both laugh.

"Thanks, Kyoya, for coming here. I, um, I'm not the same person when the drugs hit my system. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here," I thank. Kyoya nods.

"I'm your fiancé. For better or for worse I'm going to be here for you. Don't you forget that. We have a lot riding on you," Kyoya muses. He looks around. "Come on, we should get you home." I follow him, wincing in the early morning sunlight. My head feels like someone wants to hack it off. I'm really regretting things now.

When we get home, I head straight for the shower. By order of his father, Kyoya sits in the bathroom as well, keeping an eye on me so I don't hurt myself again. "You have to admit, last night wasn't that bad," I remark. Kyoya shrugs.

"It wasn't my first choice, but I won't say it was bad," he agrees.

"You were the one who seemed much more into it than I was," I point out.

"You were drunk and high," Kyoya argues. I sigh.

"I must really not be any good then," I laugh.

"Shut up," Kyoya growls. "You're just fine." I get out of the shower and start drying off. Kyoya stares at my stitches on my stomach. "I'm honestly surprised we didn't pull any stitches."

"You know, I'm not. I'm just that damn good," I whisper in his ear as I go to get changed. I pause as I finish. I'm starting to get back to my old self. Kyoya steps into the room.

"There's the Dani I remember," he muses, leaning against the wall. I give him a half smile. "My parents are having dinner with our lawyers tonight. They will be out for the night. I plan on getting my payment for finding you last night."

"That sounds fair," I reply.

"By the way, they want you on the stand in a few weeks, so you can't screw up again. It'll ruin everything," Kyoya warns me, stepping out of the room. I look at the box on the couch. It's a new violin.

I spent the afternoon breaking in my new instrument. Kyoya spent it talking with his father. I'm guessing it has to deal with last night. It makes me feel like hell, but I'll be okay. Haruhi called at some point, and we chatted for a bit. Now I have a candle lit and I'm reading. I watch the candle flame. I haven't cast a spell in a long time. I used to, when I met Mei. She introduced me to the craft, but after her incident we just stopped. I may have to look into starting it back up again. It'll give me something to focus on.

Kyoya finally storms into the room and crawls onto the couch with me, his head on my chest. I wince in pain as his weight is hurting my wound. "Kyo-Chan, you're hurting me," I whimper. Kyoya raises his head.

"Hm? Oh, sorry," he mutters, sitting up. I sigh, setting aside my book and grabbing my pain killers.

"What's wrong?" I ask. Kyoya shrugs, grabbing his notebook. "Something is obviously wrong. Tell me," I push. Finally he sighs heavily and looks at me.

"I've had a long day. My father tends to annoy me, that's all," Kyoya finally explains. He leans back, arms crossed. I lean my head on his shoulder.

"Families suck," I remark. "You love them, but you also hate them more than anything."

"You have no family," Kyoya reminds me.

"I've seen enough of them though. I've also been thrown out of enough of them," I tell him. Kyoya laughs.

"I can't seem to remember. Were you always so funny?" Kyoya asks. I shrug, laughing as well. We sit there quietly for a second.

"We haven't talked about, what happened," I mutter.

"Last night?"

"No, not that. Kyo-chan, we lost our child that day. You haven't even mentioned it," I sigh. Kyoya closes his eyes.

"What are we supposed to do?" Kyoya mumbles.

"Talk," I reply, looking up at him. "We can't ignore it happened."

"It happened. It's done and over with," Kyoya growls.

"It sounds as though you're upset. Did you…Did you want kids?" I can't help but point out. Kyoya goes quiet and tense.

"We're in high school. I'll tell you what, ask me again after I've graduated," Kyoya tells me.

"You make it seem like I won't," I comment. Kyoya leans his head back.

"That's what we were arguing about, my father and I. I think you would do better focusing on winning this case, finish out by homeschooling. I want to take care of you, and you being in school I feel I can't keep you safe," Kyoya explains. I jump to my feet.

"Kyoya, I can't tell myself I'm better unless I sit there and try to be better," I argue. He stands as well.

"Don't you trust me to make you better?" he asks. I shake my head.

"That's not it, Kyoya. I want to do something good with my life, even if it just means graduating high school. I never, ever had that chance and now I do. You of all people are not taking that away from me," I shout. He grabs my hand and yanks up my sleeves, exposing my arm to him. I finally stopped bandaging it, so the scabbed lines stare up at me.

"Don't you even dare," he growls, pulling me closer. "You see what you do to yourself if I'm not there protecting you. You are a danger to yourself, Danielle, and I will not let you destroy yourself. You asked how I felt about this? That bitch killed my child, and I'm trying not to go and take away everything she loves from her. You screwed up, Danielle, and now you're paying the price by being mine. When you said yes to my father, you sold yourself to us, to me. This is my choice, not yours."

"What the hell do you mean?" I ask. He looks me dead in the eyes, squeezing my wrist. "Kyoya, you're hurting me."

"Shut up," he breathes, yanking me towards the bed. I try and pull back, but he throws me onto it.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" I scream, crying now, memories flooding in. He pins me to the bed and starts undressing me. The next thing I know my heart is racing and my head is spinning. I'm having a panic attack, one much worse than anything I've ever had. I'm shaking, and I feel so sick. I don't even know what all happens, my mind's in overdrive, and at some point it hits Kyoya what's going on. He jumps back, shaking his head.

"Oh my god, Dani, I…Oh my god," he mutters, falling to the ground. He throws his glasses aside, head falling into hands that rest on his knees which are drawn up to his chest. I sit up, looking at him. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't even know…" I pull myself back, farther away from him.

"You betrayed me," I whisper, finally coming back down from my panic attack. I pick up a book from the nightstand and throw it at him. "You bastard!" We both fall silent, a heavy air on the room. We sit there while the sun finishes setting and darkness washes over the room. We don't look at each other. Until finally Kyoya stands. He crawls onto the bed, hesitantly. I'm half asleep. He lightly pulls me into his arms.

"I'm sorry. Dani, I'm so sorry. I didn't… I wasn't thinking," he whispers in my ear. "I love you. I love you so much. I'm so sorry." He keeps whispering until finally we both fall asleep.

 **A/N: ...Why... Why did I write this scene...This chapter. Just... The sad part is that this is still within character. I just began typing at the next thing I know I'm staring at this scene questioning life choices. Do not hate me. I still do not condone rape. This scene came out of nowhere but there is a psychological reasoning behind this. Again, when I write my reflection for this fan fiction I will touch on this. I will put it on my Wattpad. So please bear with me. This is such a heavy chapter. But we also grew in over 70 views in ONE FRICKING DAY! I don't even know. I don't even know guys. Just... Keep it up. I love you all so much. I hope you guys do not hate me for this chapter, and that you guys understand that this scene wrote itself basically. I'm going to go try and work on Remember to Breathe now...**


	8. Chapter 8

Come morning, neither of us move. I'm freezing, but I can't get myself to grab a blanket. I just stay frozen in Kyoya's embrace, still trying to process last night. I feel numb. I know he's awake, but I still say nothing. He says nothing either, doesn't move an inch. I feel his breath on my head, and with it is the sorrow and regret. I hurt, and I expect it to. I should hate him, but I don't. My hand is on his, his being on my bandage on my abdomen. At some point we get up, get dressed, and sit on opposite sides of the couch. I pull my knees up to my chin, and we just sit there. Finally, I don't know when, Tamaki opens the door. "Kyoya, you aren't answering your phone," Tamaki whines. He looks at us, silent and numb.

Kyoya doesn't even bother answering. He just stares into space. "What's wrong?" Tamaki asks.

"I raped her," Kyoya mutters breathlessly, still in shock. "I… I…" Tamaki looks at him and then at me.

"We were arguing… And I was… He," I try and add, the words not making any coherent sentence. Tamaki sits across from us.

"Kyoya, please tell me you didn't," Tamaki sighs. Kyoya shakes his head.

"I don't even know… I don't…How it happened… I just," Kyoya tries to explain. I start to crawl across the couch, resting my head in Kyoya's lap. I don't even know why. It just feels right.

"Are you okay?" Tamaki asks. "Is everything okay?"

"I don't… Know," I mumble. Kyoya finally looks up at his friend.

"It's not okay. What I did is not okay. None of this right. I feel so… Damn it!" Kyoya shouts, pushing me off so he can jump up to his feet. He begins to pace the room. "I told Haruhi I was capable, but I never thought. I'm not that kind of man. I am not." I sit up, looking at him.

"Kyoya, calm down," Tamaki pleads.

"Calm down? I raped my fiancée, Tamaki! I took advantage of a woman who has been through so much every day is a battle to keep her alive! Tell me to calm down, fine, but it's not happening!" Kyoya spits. I start shaking.

"Kyo-Chan, come on," I beg, scooting forward. He turns to face me.

"I don't even deserve to be called that," he growls. I stand, my legs like lead, and walk towards him, grabbing his hands.

"Kyoya, let her speak," Tamaki encourages. I take a deep breath.

"Kyo, you know more than anyone that I'm broken. You know what I've been through, and what happened is just icing on the damn cake. You can't do this to me though. We were arguing, and you lost yourself in the moment. That's all it was. I know you wouldn't do that, not to me, not to anyone. I know you love me, and you may be the only person in the world who can, so don't you dare give up on me. I'm not giving up on you, not now, not ever," I tell him. He looks at me, and then makes his way back to the couch to sit. Tamaki stands.

"I'll let you two be. I'll call later though, okay? Answer your phone," Tamaki assures, leaving the room. I turn to Kyoya and sit on his lap, resting my head against his chest while I wrap my arms around his neck.

"I love you, Kyo-chan," I whisper, resting my lips against his. He wraps his arms around me, mumbling a thousand apologies as he begins to cry. I realize something in this moment. Just as he is the only one to know me as deeply as he does, I am the only soul alive who has ever seen Kyoya Ootori truly cry. Why, then, do I feel so numb, and why do these words suddenly feel like lies?

When the school week starts, I return hand in hand with Kyoya. We refuse to mention what happened that night. However, the guilt still hangs in the air. We speak of almost nothing with each other, preferring the silence. Our nights are spent staring at the ceiling waiting for sleep to come, even though it doesn't. I sit in the back of my classes, faces turning and whispering about me. What Renge did spread like wildfire. I want to melt in my seat, or turn invisible. I make it through the day however. Tamaki has been extra kind today, and chased a few girls away who stared at me a bit too long. Kyoya has reverted back to his normal self, everything hidden behind the cordial and quiet mask he wears.

I step into Music Room 3. I didn't bother bringing my violin as it's only a club meeting. They want to ease me back in I guess. I just want to go home and work on this makeup work. Everyone is here except for the twins. "Where are Kaoru and Hikaru?" I ask. The others all look at each other.

"They'll be here!" Honey assures me. I nod slowly, and take the cake he silently offers me. I could use some sweets.

"How are you holding up?" Haruhi asks. I freeze for a moment.

"I'll be okay, I think," I mutter. Kyoya is keeping a bit of distance, and his silence kills me. He doesn't want anyone finding out what happened. I can understand that. I just wish I could hate him for what he did. Instead I want to throw the world away and stay with him.

We sit quietly for a while, making small talk. Finally the doors open and the twins step in. "Look who we found!" Hikaru calls triumphantly. I turn around, and my jaw drops. Standing before me with sunken eyes and dirty skin is a woman with dark black hair that is a wild mess, matted in places and so greasy. She is all skin and bone, with thin lips and a petite nose that curves just enough to make it cute. Her clothes hang on her body like rags, and considering how faded and ripped they are, they could be rags. However, despite it all, and the obvious needle marks that are too plenty to count, I recognize her. I stand, facing her, walking forward. "Mei," I breathe, as though it's all a dream. In front of me is my Mei.

 **A/N: Hi guys. I have to say, I think this is a good follow up chapter to last. I like this reaction. Kyoya is repenting, but Dani seems to be struggling. Is there a foreshadow? I don't know. Haha. Also, Mei returns! PLOT TWIST! Oh gosh guys, there's only two more chapters left! I'm going to go back to reading for school now (it's Jane Eyre, by the way. No spoiling) and if I get enough views/reviews by the time I finish I may or may not post the next chapter. I sort of want to get this fan fiction finished, but I don't know if I want to drag it out or not. I am only a chapter and a half into the sequel (busy with school stuff. Life you know) but at the same time I really think you guys deserve to know what happens next because you guys all seem to love it. So, leave a review pretty please and I will check later! Thanks for reading! (also Death Cab for Cutie was well played when I wrote this chapter. Mainly Someday You Will be Loved which is an awesome song by the way)**


	9. Chapter 9

"Dani," Mei shakes her head. I run into her embrace. Kyoya looks the newcomer up and down.

"So this is Mei," he remarks coldly.

"Who's this?" Mei asks quietly, pointing at Kyoya.

"That's Kyoya, my fiancé," I reply. Mei nods slowly.

"Can we, uh, catch up elsewhere, Bird? I'd, uh, feel better about it," Mei mumbles. I look to Kyoya who nods his approval. He tosses me his card in case I need money and I lead Mei out. We walk off of school grounds and down a few streets before Mei stops me. "Where the hell have you been Bird? I told you Rex wanted you in exchange for some drugs. You left me, bitch. What the hell?" Mei snaps.

"Mei, I overdosed. I almost died. Then these damn lawyers came and I was offered a way out by Kyoya's dad. I didn't have a choice!" I explain.

"Oh, so some suit offered for you to be some high class's slut? You're an idiot, Bird," Mei growls. "Look, thanks to you Rex took me again. I thought you said you'd make sure he wouldn't do that again. What happened to that? You owe me, Dani."

"I don't owe you a damn thing, Mei," I spit.

"Look at you, in that ridiculous dress. You're some fancy girl now, huh? You think you're all high and mighty 'cause you might have a chance at Mommy and Daddy's money? That man's gonna take it all, bitch," Mei shakes her head.

"You don't know anything, Mei. I thought you were better than that," I sigh. Mei laughs.

"I only ever cared about you because of that talent you have. We got so much money off of you. You were downright played, Dani. That man will be your death, though. Don't you see that?" Mei laughs. "You are such an idiot." I slap her, and I slap her hard. She looks up at me with questioning eyes, and kicks me in the gut before running away. I fall to ground, trying to catch my breath. That's not the Mei I know. That's not her at all.

For the set of weeks I manage to pull myself together. After what happened with Mei, I crashed again, reverting into silence and stillness. I had to let Kyoya take me out of Ouran. He got scared about what I would do, so I was put into a psych ward for a few days. Finally I was released, but now I see my troubles are far from over. My period skipped…Again. I'm sitting with my back against the sink in our bathroom. I hold the stick in my hands. This time I almost expected it. I've lost everything, and now I just get another tie to Kyoya. I've distanced myself, I'll be honest. I've been dead inside. How could Mei do that to me? She was always the strong one, the one with a smile. She used me. She used me and when I was no longer useful she chewed me up and spat me back out. I drag myself back out to our living area.

A few hours later I hear Kyoya walk into the room. I've decided not to tell him. He sets his stuff down and looks at me. "Are you okay?" he asks. I shrug.

"I'm just thinking," I mutter. I must be about three or four months along now, considering the only time I can think of this happening is when Kyoya… Great, maybe Mei was right.

"Honey and Mori want to go on one last trip before they graduate. Will you be coming?" Kyoya remarks, sitting down across from me. I shrug.

"No, I sort of don't want to deal with people right now," I reply.

"Are you sure? It may be good for you," Kyoya urges. I shake my head.

"No, I don't want to go. I could use some space," I tell him. He nods slowly.

"It's about Mei, isn't it? You still won't tell me what she said," Kyoya sighs. I glare at him.

"Just don't," I growl. Kyoya nods slowly.

"I'm going to pack then," he curtly tells me. I nod slowly, thinking of what I'll do when he leaves. I've already made my decision. I don't care anymore. I can't do it. I'm going back. I feel so numb all the time now. I need the drugs. I know I'll only feel alive again when I have them.

I watch from the window as Kyoya leaves. I've already packed my things into my bag. I'm leaving the violin. It was never exactly mine. Mine was broken, and when it was, I was broken too. I can't help but think I was foolish. I want Mei back. Can't she see I only ever wanted her to accept me? I wait until I know I can sneak out without anyone looking for me. I've written my note of goodbye. They can have the money. They can have the business. I never cared about it anyways. That me died when my parents died. I never gave a damn. As I walk out into the brisk evening, it hits me. I never felt anything when they died. I never shed a tear. The only two people who ever made me feel were Mei and Kyoya.

I reach a corner store and buy a pack of cigarettes. I light one as I enter the street again, watching the smoke rise. I already know where Mei will be. She always hangs out where the drugs are, and I know where that is. I reach into my pocket and find the ring I was given when I moved in with the Ootori family. I could sell it, but no. I'm leaving them. So I throw the ring as hard as I can. I reach the place where I want to be. Taking a deep breath, I push the door open. Mei is sitting on the floor with a needle in hand, Rex, king of the streets, sitting behind her.

"Did you decide to rethink things?" Mei coos. I nod, giving Rex my cash.

"Shoot me up," I tell him. He smiles, handing me a few needles. I smile, knowing this is where I belong.

 **A/N: I have been thinking long and hard all day. I got a really nice review this morning and it made my question if I really wanted to post this chapter and the next one. I have gone back and forth and decided not only to post this chapter, but to later on post the next and final chapter in this fan fiction... The good news? There is a sequel. It is called "I'm Not Bitter" and it follows another view picking up right where the next chapter leaves off. I am so anxious and yet still excited to see what you all think. Yes, Dani has crashed in a way. She has decided to revert back to her street lifestyle. There are reasons why, so many reasons. I think the next chapter may touch on some, but another huge part will be my Wattpad thing I'll be doing. I am doing a detailed evaluation of this fan fiction and its sequel, and after the last chapter is up I will start posting my reflections on Wattpad (Once I write out my notes and kind of make it a bit better. I think I'll start posting tomorrow unless I can get my first section done tonight). I just want to thank you all. We have reached over 300 views in the course of one week since I started posting this. Just. Oh my god, guys. You make me smile. Please leave a review, and please do not hate me for what I am doing with Dani.**


	10. Chapter 10

I quickly become Rex's favorite. It's been a few weeks. I'm sure Kyoya is looking for me, so we've moved right outside of town. Except for tonight. I held my pregnancy in for long enough, but now Rex knows and he wants me to see a clinic. He says I can keep the baby if I want, but it still makes sense to see a clinic. It's free anyways. Mei and I walk the streets. She's been quiet, like she's upset. "Why'd you come back?" she finally asks.

"If we're honest, you were right. Kyoya saw me as an object, something he owned. One night we were arguing, and he said so. Then he raped me," I mutter. Mei nods slowly.

"How have you coped with that?" she inquires. I pause.

"If we're honest, I'm not bitter. I forgave him, even though I know I shouldn't have. I guess I'm just broken," I muse. She laughs.

"You're not broken. You're a perfect bitch. Look at you. Rex adores you. You stole him from me. He treats you like a damn princess, just like that Ootori boy did. Everyone loves you," she argues. We keep on walking. She thrusts her hand into her coat pocket.

"What's up with you?" I dare ask. She turns to me, revealing what she took out.

"You are so thick. You're a manipulative bitch. You don't even see, do you? I got raped because of you. You act the victim, but I know you told Rex I was an easy catch. You want the attention. Has everyone told you some robber killed your parents? Did you forget? Do you even know why I call you Bird? You forgot. You're a killer, Dani. You killed your parents, in cold blood. You get high off of it," Mei cries. I smile, and it's like the walls have broken.

"So you finally cracked the code," I click. I shake my head. "You're right. I overdosed on purpose. I couldn't let you win. I had to play the victim, Mei. I always did. Dani never had a chance. She tried to stop me, put me down. Now put it down," I urge. She shakes her head.

"You deserve to die," she growls. The gun goes off. She panics, runs. I feel the bullet pierce my lung. I start running, straight to the clinic. But I start feeling cold, so cold. I feel the life leaving me before I even reach the door. I hear a voice, a man calling me.

"DANI!" Kyoya shouts. Is it Kyoya? I fall back onto the street, warm blood pouring. I feel. I finally feel. I'm so broken. I feel him kneel next to me.

"If we're honest…I'm not bitter," I mutter, closing my eyes. It goes black, and I hear the sirens.

 **A/N: (Thanks to whoever sat there and pointed out that for some reason chapter 9 was posted twice and this was not. Sometimes websites hate me.) PLOT TWIST TO THE HIGHEST! Dani was NOT what we all thought she was! I don't... I don't even know where to begin. Does Dani actually die? Does Kyoya figure out that Dani was an insane psychopath? Well, you have to wait... For the sequel. I did say it would change perspectives (won't that be nice?). Who are we going to see tell the story next? Well, it's Kyoya! Also, if you want my explanations on why I have done what I have done, check my Wattpad (same username as on here) because within the next day or so I will be starting my side project: an evaluation of this fan fiction and its sequel. If any of you hate me right now, I am so sorry. I think this ending hit me when I was working on chapter 6 or 7 and I just ran with it. That's why this is all a bit sudden (granted I did try and add in a few hints every here and there), and I think there are some really interesting things here. So, if you hated how this has ended, please wait for my evaluation. My first topic will be Dani and all that happened with her, and I will be discussing this scene in depth and why this has to be this way. There is a point to this! What I have to say here is that you have to understand that sometimes people are just too broken. Sometimes there is no escape from what our demons are, and I think in this scene Dani was directly faced with that. So keep that in mind. I will be posting chapter one of the sequel, "I'm Not Bitter," (yes I actually named these two after Dani's comment) at some point tonight. Thank you all for reading through this fan fiction. I have to say, I had fun writing it and I think that I may actually take this plot and stuff and make this an actual novel someday. So, please leave a review, and I hope you all enjoy.**


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